


Bloodstream

by KellySyll



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14271579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellySyll/pseuds/KellySyll
Summary: What would have happened to FitzSimmons if the team had never been to space?Leo Fitz thought that his life with Jemma Simmons would improve, after so many traumatic events, a calm life was all he wanted, but he didn't know the demons from his past are always ready to return ... and attack.Divergence from the current CANON of the Agents of SHIELD series.Most of this story is focused on Fitz.





	1. Memories Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> New project!!  
> This is unbetaed so i'm sorry if there's a mistake.  
> English is not my native language so i'm learning, and i thought, "why not try writing?"  
> AoS season 5 has been great!! I hope you enjoy this fic. Feedback is always appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading <3

Leopold Fitz thought that after a few months his burden would be lighter but he still felt responsible for what happened in the framework.

 

He thought of all the lives affected because of that virtual world, cruel acts committed by him and for him. How could he continue carrying such a weight of guilt in his heart? Yes, the team forgave him, because he was also a victim, but would he be able to forgive himself? With a long sigh he got up from the bed, Jemma lay beside him, sleeping. He admired how she could do it without trouble; he didn't want to wake her. The rare times she managed to have a good night's sleep were to treasure. After putting on a pair of slippers, he walked to the kitchen of the apartment he now shared with Jemma.

 

The walls were still white, it reminded him of the little time and energy they had. Some pretty colorful curtains adorned the windows, if it weren't for that, anyone would say that the place was still empty. . Nothing felt right and perhaps nothing would ever be right again. After the Framework, his conviction and self-esteem disappeared almost completely. He was certain Jemma hated him; he didn't deserve her love, her trust. Jemma was too pure and innocent, he would harm her. He ruined all the good he had. In his eagerness to protect it, the result was disastrous. He affected the whole team because he trusted in Radcliffe and his project. Even when he did most things the wrong way Jemma never lost faith in him, did he deserve it?

 

He forgot what he was going to do in the kitchen. He wondered if he needed to get away from Jemma, even a separate room. Being alone became one of his favorite activities. He couldn't pretend he was improving. The memories of cruelty still pursued him, so he could only sink into his misery every single day.

 

He looked at the clock that hung in the wall, it was almost 3 AM. It was dark outside, the night quiet and serene, unlike the turbulent a mess his mind had become. It was a flow of thoughts and hatred without control. He decided to make a cup of tea, according to his mother a cup of tea fixes anything. He placed the pot with water to heat and waited until it was ready.

 

He opened the cupboard, took one cup but it slipped out of his hand, falling and breaking on the floor. He let out a growl of frustration; he couldn't even catch a damn cup. Fitz stood still waiting for some sign indicating Jemma had woken up. He let out a relieved sigh, the last thing he needed was for her to go through the door alarmed and worried about him.

He picked up the pieces and tried not to cut himself with one of the pieces, the broken cup reminded him of Madame Hydra…no, Ophelia... Aida. She held a similar one when she took him to the apartment after kidnapping him in the middle of his shock and confusion. She wanted them to have a life together, decorate the place and according to her, be happy. But he couldn't, Fitz simply couldn't submit to it. The memories from the framework, her touch, her kisses...her manipulation. That was enough to make him feel repulsion and disgust. How was it possible for her to treate them like puppets the whole time? Aida manipulated him, erased Jemma and replaced her with the toxic presence of his father.

 

A few small changes made him a cruel and ruthless man. Things that can happen in real life as simple as it happened in the framework. Being like his father was easy and by the way he was doing, there wasn't a lot of difference between Fitz and Alastair.

Time passed fast while he was thinking and he forgot of the water that was boiling in the stove. He quitted trying to make a cup of tea and turned off the stove. He wanted to stop suffering and pretending he was okay. But...he deserved it, after all, the memories were the only judges, making him suffer and draining his will to live.

**He wanted to end it all.**

Fitz moved the curtain sideways and looked out the window. The streets were empty, distant sounds of sirens were heard; he tried to guess if it was an ambulance or a police car? As a child he used to try to do the same, guess what it was and why. A traffic accident or an old man had a cardiac arrest? Now he couldn't afford to feel like a child again, feel the sweet comfort his mother offered him, oh ... what would she think of him now?

 

His mind wandered again, Jemma would be better off without the load, without him. She deserved better than his pathetic excuse of a human being. Everyone would be better, without his inventions, without his stupidity...without his mistakes. Day after day he considered leaving. Yes, it would be difficult for Jemma at first, to understand why he had left. Fitz wanted to disappear, but he could get over it, he always did. He never had the courage to take his things and leave in the middle of the night. This time, the conviction returned. He had to let Jemma's wounds heal and not hinder the process. He made his decision. **He had to leave for good.**

 

He walked to the room and took a suitcase, packed everything he could, clothes, shoes, cash, his cards. He let out a sigh; he was going to do it. He needed to be alone and discover if it was true that without Jemma's presence he would lose himself. She was his strength and beyond. He had to prove he wouldn't fail without her by his side.

 

He looked at the woman of his dreams and fantasies in bed hugging Fitz's pillow. He should feel bad about leaving her, but he was relieved. For the first time in all these months, Jemma could have peace. Nothing would prevent her from moving on with her life, not even him. She deserved better. He wiped the tears that rolled onto his cheeks, put on a raincoat, left the room and looked for a piece of paper and a pen.

 

_"I'm sorry, Jemma. I regret that it has to be this way. I'm doint this for me and for you, please, do not look for me, not yet, if I find what I want, I will come back to you. I promise. I wouldn't leave if i didn't think it was necessary. I need to find myself. Swim through this mess...alone. Once again, I'm sorry. I don't want to be a dead load. I'm not getting any better and I want to be._

_I'll come back. Trust me._

_I love you, Fitz. "_

 

He didn't dare write anything else. Jemma deserved to know that. She deserved to know why he was doing this. He wasn't abandoning her, he wanted to get better in order to have a greater and brighter future. He left the note on the kitchen counter and gave one last look at the apartment before leaving for an unknown future. He'd be back. And he'd be better than before. He just had to go through this... _ **alone.**_


	2. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens with Jemma after Fitz leaves?  
> Jemma reflects on the recent events and how things will progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I finished writing this right on time, I have finals for the next two weeks, and i don't know if i'll be able to write, so I decided to post chapter 2 before i'm drowing in my study notes!! As always, feedback is appreciated. English isn't my native language so feel free to point out any mistakes.  
> Feel free to listen to All I Want by Kodaline while you read this. <3  
> thanks for reading!!

> _**"When you said your last goodbye** _  
>  _**I died a little bit inside** _  
>  _**I lay in tears in bed all night** _  
>  _**Alone without you by my side."** _

 

Jemma wanted to continue sleeping, but the alarm that rested on the night stand next to the bed didn't let her. Its sound was overwhelming, so she was awake almost immediately.

 

She remembered that she and Fitz had planned a day to themselves, out of monotony. After so much stress and agony, it was necessary for them to leave somewhere, even go out to eat and eat ice cream.  She turned on the bed to make herself comfortable, hoping to find Fitz still sleeping next to her. To her surprise, that side of the bed was empty.

 

She got up a little confused, she couldn't hear water coming from the shower meaning Fitz wasn't in the bathroom.

 

Jemma went to find a cardigan, one of Fitz's, to wear it, since she slept in her underwear. She did not want surprises when she stepped out of the bedroom.

 

She checked their closet, most of Fitz's clothes were missing. What the hell was going on? She frowned and went to the living room, the kitchen and every corner of the apartment, but she couldn't find Fitz.  Where could he have gone? Certainly not to get groceries.

 

Jemma searched for her phone and tried to call him, but it went straight to voicemail.

 

**_1 ... 2...3...How much more would she have to wait for an answer?_ **

****

He usually answers right away. Especially if it was her calling.

 

She sighed, frustrated and then walked back to the kitchen for a glass of water.  She only imagined the worst but Jemma knew she should not be pessimistic.

 

When she reached the counter, Jemma noticed a folded paper with her name written on it. She took it in her hands intrigued, as soon as she began to read it, she wish she'd never done it.

 **"I'm doing this for me and for you, please, do not look for me."** What had she done wrong? Did he go because of her? _Had not she been enough?_

 

 **"I will come back to you."** What if he didn't come back _? What if in the end he did not find what he was looking for, would he come back at all?_ Her little bubble of illusions soon exploded. Shattering with a loud crack.

 

 **"Swim through this mess...alone."** But he did not have to do it alone. Jemma only wished that at some point in his life Fitz could understand that not everything has to be on his own. She did not understand. But...she could not ignore Fitz's autonomy. She wanted to help him, in any way possible _. But if that is what he needed to feel better...She would not stop him._

 

 **"Trust me."** Trust? _How could she trust something that may be uncertain?_ Thor returning and causing disaster was more certain than Fitz's return. And yes, he had done it before, but this time it was **_different_**.

 

When she finished reading, she put the letter aside, tears sliding uncontrollably down her cheeks. Her pain was not physical ... no. No pain that she suffered before compared with the vacuum that the letter left inside of her.

 

She considered trying to call ... again. But, **_what good was it to break her heart again?_**

****

Jemma was sure Fitz did not have bad intentions with what he was doing. But he shouldn't have done it this way, a letter? Seriously?

 

 _Why didn't he tell her from the beginning?_ Since he began to have doubts _. Why did not he go to her? Did he want to avoid her? Didn't he trust her?_ Either way, that kind of decision was treason.

 

It was no longer sadness what she felt. Now rage and despair invade her. Impotence. She felt powerless even though she did everything she could.

Just because he didn't want to get the help he needed. Bloody hell! Talking to her wouldn't kill him, but his feelings? Oh... **those were going to eat him from inside out**.

 

She could end up losing him, one more time. They had been separated so many times, they had all returned to each other, but nothing was certain. **_Another planet, a virtual world, the bottem ocean, another dimension, multiple times being kidnapped and now this_**. Every kind of obstacle had come in their way and they still managed to beat the crap out of the cosmos. _What if they couldn't beat it now?_ No...no, she couldn't bear it.

 

This time she grabbed her phone to contact Coulson, for some kind of clue to make sure he was okay and not sleeping in a dirty street somewhere.

 

Just like she had expected, Fitz had eliminated all form of tracking him, but Coulson promised he would keep looking.  At least some camera could catch a glimpse of him, all she had to do was wait.

 

Jemma took a shower and put on more comfortable clothes, still wearing the only cardigan Fitz had left behind. Jemma's favorite. She made herself a cup of tea and sat on the sofa, the place was so lonely, desolate. So many nights with Fitz next to her, it was definitely weird not having him by her side.

 

**_"Quite a strange feeling, isn't it? Never wanting to be without someone."_ **

 

She remembered recording the video where she said those words to Fitz. Those words were still true. She couldn't imagine being without him after all this time. No more harm, danger or near-death experiences.  But it seemed near impossible.

 

She decided to stop feeling miserable. When she finished the cup of tea, she put it in the dishwasher, took her keys and left the apartment. It was a quiet neighborhood, just what they needed and expected their lives to be. Obviously they failed. She greeted some of their neighbors on the way and kept going.

 

She didn't have a specific destination. She didn't even know why she went out, only that she needed to. She had to clear up her thoughts, her mind. She had to think. Clarify.

 

**_Why? Where did they fail? Why dind’t she noticed Fitz’s trouble before? Was she really so naïve?_ **

****

Understand the reasons behind Fitz's decision. Think beyond herself.

 

She ended up in a small cafeteria and then ordered a simple breakfast because she wouldn't be able to digest anything else. She pulled out her phone and went straight to the gallery.  Most of the pictures were of her and Fitz. Her favorite would always be the one where he is sitting at his desk, looking straight at the camera, wearing a blue shirt and a blazer. She didn't remember why she'd taken that photo. She liked it so much that it became her phone's lock screen background for a good while. She even kept it as an anchor while she was in Maveth.

 

She opened her messages with Fitz, although he ignored her calls, maybe he wouldn't ignore her messages...right? With a little ray of **hope** she began to write.

 

{txt}: " _I think  I understand, well...not really, but whatever other reason you may have had or if the one you told me it’s the real reason why you left. Fitz, come back soon, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.  I really want to help, we all want to. Coulson, Mack, Daisy, May ... I'm tempted to say that even Hunter and Bobbi, even if they're not here and have no idea.  If you have to do this alone, I get it, but I'm only asking you one thing. **Don’t lose yourself in the process. You’re a good man Fitz. You have a good heart. Even if that crazy ass robot and your stupid father made you believe something else in the framework. You’re so much more. Come back to me. Don’t forget who you are.**_

 ** _I love you._** "

 

After finishing the message, she started eating. Jemma would wait, wait and wait. **As long as she had to.**  If she had to send him a message every day to remember him to come back, she would, she would not lose hope. She couldn’t. And simply…she wasn’t capable of going through it one more time.

 

Not anymore. He had fought for her so many times, so she would do the same for him. Even if the universe wanted to mess with them again. She would prove the cosmos wrong.

 


	3. What happened to the soul that you used to be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens with Fitz? Is he going to be okay? Or is this trip just one big bad idea?  
> Fitz deals with the after of leaving and having no idea what to do. Demons are coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Drug use but not explicit and probably the start of what's going to be an awful depresion for Fitz. 
> 
> This took me while, i'm currently busy with exams but i'm a sucker for pain, and i've been really stressed so poor Fitz just happens to catch me on a bad mood.  
> Things are going downhill from now on. No beta around here so i'm sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out. THANKS FOR READING. As always, feedback is appreciated. <3 <3

 

> **_“I am broken I am beaten_ **
> 
> **_I'm mistreated and I'm torn_ **
> 
> **_I am cold with no direction_ **
> 
> **_But I'm lost without your warmth”_ **
> 
> **_-Drown - Front Porch Step._ **

 

Deciding where to go had never been so difficult, staying in the same city? Travel to Scotland and live with his mother? Look for a completely different place?  Too many choices even though he had all the time in the world.

From the moment he left the apartment, everything became uncertain. Fitz thought he had everything planned, but he really had nowhere to go. He tried to find an ATM, he had enough money to survive for a while. He appreciated that both Jemma and he had effective savings plans, otherwise he would be lost.

Finally he decided to stay in the city, he didn't intend to spend money on a five-star hotel. He didn't deserve any luxury.. Fitz rent a room in a hotel that looked like a truck drivers' stall, as far away as possible from the place where he used to live with Jemma.

He left his suitcases on the side of the bed and immediately threw himself on it. As expected, the mattress was hard and he supposed it was not entirely clean. Perfect. Exactly what he deserved. He couldn't help but think he was the lowest of the low. And everything around him needed to be like that. That’s why he left Jemma, because she deserved better. Slowly, he drifted to sleep, ignoring the numerous calls on his phone and a text notification. He knew if he read it, he’d go back in a heartbeat. Fitz would read it later.

Sleeping with Jemma helped with his nightmares. He felt safe and in control, at least for a while, she was always there for him. To ease him and help him to fall sleep again. But she was no longer with him. He was all alone. He wanted to be alone and now he had to deal with his demons. But...he didn’t now how. How was he going to fight something he could not control?

He woke up suddenly, sweating, the sheets under him soaked with sweat. Fitz closed his eyes again, trying to ground himself. He remembered he was no longer in Aida's control. Instead, he was suffering the aftermath of all his mistakes.

He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost noon. Right now, he could be eating lunch with Jemma, instead he was punishing himself, trying to be better but failing drastically.

He decided to go out and eat something. He took his keys and left the building. He noticed there was a kind of bar-restaurant across the street. He did not feel like walking much more so he crossed and went inside. He ordered a hamburger and something to drink. **_That was his first mistake._**

**_It started with a beer._ **

**_Two._ **

**_Three._ **

He finished eating and instead of paying and leaving, he continued drinking.

**_Four._ **

**_Five._ **

**_Eight._ **

 

He needed more, so he changed his drink. Shots of Whiskey? Maybe the worst idea that could have happened to him all day.

He didn't notice the moment when the middle of the day passed into the night. He lost count of how many drinks he had had.And even though he knew it was too much, he wanted to drown himself in pain with the necessary help that the alcohol provided.

 ** _"Pathetic."_** He looked around, a mix of faces and bodies moving from side to side were what he managed to see. Nothing else. **_"Every day you look more like your father."_** Again ... that voice. He rose from the chair, wobbly, trying to find the source, but everyone seemed to mind their own business and definitely not paying attention to him.

“Hey, are you okay? Maybe it's time to go home. “ He looked at the bartender who seemed concerned. Fitz shook his head and ordered another glass of whiskey, still doubtful, the bartender gave it to him after a few seconds. He sat down again, if he remained on his feet longer, he was sure that he would fall straight to the floor.

 ** _"Is this the easiest way? Drink. Drink. And drink. But what else could anyone expect? You will never be strong enough. "_** The voice went on and on. Fitz closes his eyes and tried to block out whoever was bothering his peace. He wanted to forget. _" **Weak."**_

Fitz dropped the glass he was holding on the floor. He stood up, grabbing the bartender by the neck.

“It's you! Stop! Leave me alone!” The boy in front of him looked confused denying Fitz's accusations. Fitz took his head between his hands, some people began to look at the situation, watching as the drunk man had a breakdown. At that moment he decided to leave. He had to cross the street. He pulled out a bunch of money and left it as payment. Probably more than he owed. He left the bar trying to walk straight, although even that seemed like an impossible task.

 ** _"You can't even cross the street?  Worse than I thought. "_** Again ... that voice.

“STOP!” Fitz's voice sounded desperate.  He closed his eyes and when he opened them he noticed something.

No one was around him. People were inside the bar. No one else. Was the voice inside his head? No no. Was he going mad? No way.

He tried to cross the street and thankfully he made it to the building (if you could call it that) As he went up the stairs, he heard the loud noise coming from…everywhere. It was drilling into his head. He couldn’t stand it. On his way up there were a few teenagers, it smelled like smoke and he was sure those kids were somehow drugged. He felt it in his guts. He walked as straight as he could, sadly, it was working, his head and limbs didn’t cooperate. He let out a sight and leaned to the side of the stairs. One guy came down, eyed him and then offered a bag. Fitz refused at first, not wanting to get involved in something shady or getting arrested later for having illegal drugs, who knows?

But…the voice was getting louder and louder, telling him to do it. To give in. To let himself drown in misery and disaster. Why? _WHY?_

He screamed, although, it was just in his head.

“So, do you want some or not? Consider it a welcoming gift.” The guy left the bag in one of Fitz’s hand and went back to his previous spot.

Fitz started moving up again, he passed the bunch of guys and reached his apartment. He felt horrible. But for his release, everything else felt numb, nothing mattered expect the awful headache next morning. Nothing else.

 ** _Would he hurt Jemma?_** Not anymore.

 ** _Would he jeopardize the lives of everyone on the team?_** No more.

 ** _Would he have to continue pretending he was alright?_** Negative.

Here… _he was free_. He was no longer dead weight. He was on his own.  And it was only day one. Fleeing from the problems and going right back to them. The problem was he. He tried to ward off the danger of those he loves, but it was in vain, since the danger was he. The doctor was right. They were one. And always, always, Fitz would find a way to hurt his closest friends. Maybe it was better if... no. Not yet. He stared at the bag in his hand, and…what if he did? Nobody was there to stop him. Nobody was going to tell him no. And his inner voice begged for **_more_**. More of the same. Of nothing. Emptiness.  Sadness. Pain. Hate. _Why didn’t he listen to Mack? Why didn’t he do different things from the beginning? Why didn’t he listen to JEMMA?_

Small, stupid and deluded, Fitz.  Always waiting for good results and then getting the most dire consequences. Tragic.  Unexpected. And then guilt. Feeling guilty is the absolute worst thing on earth. But he deserved every last bit of blame.  Jemma was probably…no, surely worried about him. Thinking how Fitz’s emotions were so strong that they could destroy him. _And she was right. She was always right._

He remembered an old British movie ...Scottish. He was pretty sure that Ewan McGregor was in it somewhere, although he could not remember the name. But it was about drugs, and the relief that came with them. Drugs could be liberating. They made you forget. And yes, they were dangerous, but more than him? It was not possible. He ignore the rest of the message in the movie. The point was “Choose Life”, but at that point he didn’t choose life. He didn’t want to choose life. He did not deserve it.

Then ... he opened the bag. Everything he ever achieved, right to the garbage.

His second mistake.

**_After that, there was no turning back._ **

 

 

 

 


	4. Near the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz keeps making bad decisions. Coulson and May pay him a visit. Will it make a difference?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm finally done with my exams and I had time to write this one.  
> By the way, did you guys see last night's episode? AMAZING.  
> As always, thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated as this is unbetaed so this may have a few typos/mistakes feel free to point them out! 
> 
> Enjoy! And again, thanks if you read this <3

 

> “Should I, should I?  
>  Maybe I'll get drunk again  
>  I'll be drunk again  
>  I'll be drunk again  
>  To feel a little love”
> 
> -Drunk by Ed Sheeran.

The light that filtered through the window was too intense, so bad that he woke up because of the discomfort. His head hurt and he didn't remember much of what had happened in the last 12 hours apart from going to eat and then making a couple of bad decisions. Fitz had fallen asleep on the floor, he tried to sit down and for a few moments he felt like he was about to vomit. What had he gotten himself into?

He tried to remember something, his mind was still cloudy, as well as his thoughts. There was simply no clarity within him, he went back to sleep and closed his eyes. Fitz let time pass while his memories came back. The floor was hard, the light was still in at its peak and his physical discomfort was getting worse. His body was not used to such debauchery, but for him, all conditions were perfect.

Jemma. Bloody hell, what would Jemma think if she had seen him like that? What would she have said? Would she be disappointed? Surprised?

Luckily, he was not with her to find out.

He tried to stand up and held his head in his hands. The dizziness taking its toll on his body. At first his pain was only psychological, but now it was burning him from inside and out, slowly until he was completely exhausted. About time.

He decided to at least take a shower and change clothes. He took a long time in the shower, trying to erase any traces of what he did the night before, but in his mind, nothing could change and that ... was fine. Right?

It was okay to forget.

It was okay to break even more each day.

And maybe his true self was a fragile shell. All these years pretending to be a hero. For Jemma. He wanted to continue being strong. Fulfill his promise, try to find himself and be better, that was all he wanted, to be better.

The day passed slower than he thought. He walked from one place to another, resisting the urge to return to the place across the street and go through the same thing as he had the night before. He choose to order a pizza under the name of James Simmons, why not? It was better than using Leopold Fitz and risking being found by his team. Not that they were looking for him anyway, he hoped not.

After a while, pizza arrived, he paid and sat on the bed. He devoured it in a few minutes, leaving only a couple of portions for later. Ironically the night fell again, and with it, the bad thoughts that he needed to forget .

He left the apartment to go to the nearest supermarket, taking as much cash as he could with him for two essential things. He walked the aisles looking for six packs of beers and the occasional bottle of Whiskey that was slightly good according to the scottish standards. He went to pay and the cashier looked at him strangely because of the amount of alcohol he was buying, but being a supermarket at a gas station, the importance of it soon turned aside. He searched around for cameras, there were about 2 in the corners that could betray him, so he hid under his hoodie.

He returned to the apartment and as he went up the stairs Fitz heard the voices of the same guys once again. Quickly he went it to put away the things he bought and came back to where they were a few minutes ago. Whatever they offered him last time, it really help him to forget his pathetic world for a while.

"Hey, back here? I knew you were going to like it." He heard the boy's greeting as he barely reached the group, Fitz put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie still nervous about what he was about to do, a part of his mind still doubted whether or not it was a good idea, but … _wasn’t this the best and only escape he had?_

Surely nothing else could be as good and as lethal that the effective combination of drugs and alcohol. "What can I offer you?" The boy spoke again, Fitz looked up trying to analyze him, the guy could not be older than 25, in his features you could tell that he used his own products more than he should, his bloodshot eyes, his skin a bit pale and a smile that seemed somehow  macabre. Even so, even with all the warnings that he shouldn't do it, Fitz continued.

"Same as yesterday." He said, the boy extended his hand and Fitz placed some bills, hoping they were enough, the guy smiled and gave Fitz three bags this time.

"Enjoy! By the way, I'm Evan." It seemed strange for him to tell Fitz his name, probably Evan saw Fitz as a possible compulsive buyer, maybe he wouldn’t be wrong. "If you need something, I live on the top floor, number 23, if you can’t find me around here, you know where to look for a some more." He finished by placing a hand on Fitz's left shoulder, smiling once again.  Fitz nodded, he faked a smile and quickly walked back to the place that would witness his downfall for who knows how long.

Once inside, he took a six pack and one of the bags. Fitz decided to start with the beers and keep the rest of the drinks in a mini fridge that was in the apartment. He noticed his phone on the bedside table, he took it at the same time he turned it on and went back to sit on the floor, along with the rest of his doom. The message that Jemma had sent him was still without reading, he let out a sigh and opened one of the beers and finally looked at the message, even if it cost him his privacy the next day.

He had to drink about three beers before being able to read the entire message.

 ** _"Fitz, come back soon, I don’t want you to hurt yourself."_**   _Soon? Time was relative. It could take years for him to be fine, just like it could be two weeks._ He was hurting himself from the moment Aida turned out to be a maniac android because of Radcliffe, since in the framework his whole being was rewritten and he came back as a broken man, scared and with no way out.

He kept drinking, little by little, as he tried to control the tears that threatened to come out.

**_Don’t lose yourself in the process. Don’t lose yourself in the process. Don’t lose yourself in the process._ **

How not to do it? The voices in his head only became louder and louder. He was already lost, didn’t she realize it? He was a **disaster**!

 ** _"A lost man"_** said the voice once again; everything that Jemma said was contradicted by the part of him that he wanted to hide in a locked cabinet.

 ** _"You're a good man Fitz. You have a good heart."_** Jemma whispered in his mind.

 ** _"YOU KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE_**. ** _”_** Shouted the doctor. ** _“You are a disappointment, you can never be as strong as me ... we are the same and still ... you are a disappointment.”_**

His head was a mix between Jemma's hopeful spirit, the doctor's criticism and the pessimism of his own being.

He was going for his fourth beer and still couldn’t dare to finish the message, slowly he moved on, he knew from the moment he received the message that this would be his undoing that he would want to return to her, but no. Disaster shouldn’t be near Jemma, so he had to be as far away as possible for her to be okay.

**_You're so much more. Come back to me. Don’t forget who you are. I love you_ **

Four sentences that at some point would make him return without a second thought, but now? How much had changed in his soul to ignore her plea?

He loved Jemma more than anything in his life, but how could he return to her in this state?

 ** _"She only does it out of pity, she's probably better without you, you know it's true."_** The voice, always the voice that chased him, accompanied his good dreams and nightmares. The doctor was everywhere, he never left, always present.

In less time than he expected, all the beers were finished. He let a while pass before using one of the bags, inhale it and move to a completely different world. Free of worries, sadness, suffering or bad thoughts.

He wished he could feel that way all the time. It would be wonderful and ideal. As a scientist and partner of Jemma, Fitz had learned over the years that drugs and alcohol were not a good combination for his bod and it had many consequences that could lead to death ** _,_** _but was that a bad thing?_

If dying felt as good as being pumped up in drugs, then he preferred to be dead. If he was dead he would not have to bother anyone again. Never again. It didn't sound like a bad idea, to end it all.

The first moments were always filled with euphoria, but the...came the worst, the shame, the regret and the pity. But it was worth it for just a few moments of freedom and clarity.

 

A few knocks on his door woke him up, once again he was lying on the floor, he decided to ignore them and go back to sleep, but they became more intense, he let out a growl and tried to speak from his position. "Who is it?" He asked as loud as he could, although it came out as grumble.

"Fitz? It's Coulson ... and May. "He heard the voice of his boss ... (old boss?) behind the door and almost panicked, it was a bad decision what he was about to do but after so many, this one felt insignificant. He jerked up from the floor and looked around, kicking the bottles under the bed and removing all traces of anything suspicious. "Fitz? Are you okay?” This time it was May's voice.

Shit. Shit. Shit. He put on the hoodie he wore earlier and sighed, hesitating to open the door or not, although if he didn’t, May would kick it down herself.

He opened the door slowly, relieving the pair behind the door, trying to hide his face as much as he could while answering. "Hi ... I'm fine, May." It was the only thing he could say, he chewed on his bottom lip as he looked away from the two of them, he could feel their gaze analyzing every movement he made.

"You don’t look good, Fitz." This time it was Coulson who spoke, he frowned and his expression changed. "Can we come in?" He asked shortly after, to which Fitz immediately shook his head.

"I thought you knew I didn’t want to be found, Jemma knows." Fitz stated in a somewhat irritated tone, he pursed his lips and tried to close the door a bit more until only part of his head showed through the small space. "But thanks for the interest." He added with a fake smile, he was sure his pupils were dilated so hiding them was his main goal.

"But, Fitz, are you really okay? Jemma is worried, she wants to know something about you. " He rarely heard that worried tone in May, but of course, no one was ever interested in him.

"Tell her I'm fine, okay? And please, don’t come back. I really want to be alone." Fitz answered firmly and slammed the door shut, not wanting to keep that conversation going anymore, apparently Coulson and May understood, because after a few minutes he couldn’t hear their whispers and their steps slowly faded away.

He arched against the door and he fell to the floor, at least he didn’t have to face them for long, and it was better that way.

 

 **Second week.** Everything was the same, every day he bought more and more bags, he experimented with new types of drugs and even combinations that he never thought existed.

 **Third week.** Most of the time he was "out of this world", he had even made friends with Evan and the rest of his crew, who promised to teach him how to inject drugs instead of inhale them.

 **Fourth week.** Who was he really? The man who once was ready to change and be better, now sunk in a disastrous apartment, with so little desire to live that it was surprising he had not yet decided to finish it all. In his mind there were always two constant companions: The doctor and Jemma, an endless battle between them.

Jemma was one of the few things keeping it afloat, because in the end he wanted to be better for her even when he fooled himself thinking otherwise. Nothing was worth it anymore.

Maybe Alastair Fitz was always right and maybe the world would be better without Leopold Fitz in it.

Fitz wanted to avoid ‘causing Jemma more pain, that's why he was always in a big dilemma, if he was still alive and Jemma found him in such state... it would be a great disappointment for her, but if he died, would Jemma be sad or happy?

Fitz thought he would free her from all evil, from all danger, _and in the end was not that the best for everyone?_

 ** _So many decisions to make. So little will. So much to lose. And so little to gain_**.

_What was at the end of everything?_

_Maybe he would find out  if he was brave enough._

_Maybe._

**_At the end._ **

_Maybe._


	5. This is how it ends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson and May talk to Jemma. Jemma visits Fitz, he doesn’t want to see her at first, but Fitz realizes he needs her, but something unexpected happens, will he make it out alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update this, but i was busy with university, now i'm free and I can write as much as I want, this chapter was really hard for me to write as my inspiration was out of the window. But here it is, thank you for reading! <3 As always, if you see a mistake feel free to tell me, as I have no beta reader and english isn't my first language, I try my best. Feedback is always appreciated. We're near the end of this fic and it's been fun. Seriously, thank you for reading! <3
> 
> btw follow me on twitter if you like @KellySyll or even my tumblr inlovewiththetenthdoctor for some aos and fitzsimmons related content. I'm always there.

> Oh, no, no, don't leave me alone lonely now  
>  If you loved me how'd you never learn?  
>  Oh, coloured crimson in my eyes  
>  One or two could free my mind  
>  This is how it ends.  
>  I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream  
>  Fading out again.  
>  I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream  
>  So tell me when it kicks in 

After leaving Fitz’s place, May and Coulson both felt a twist in their stomachs. They were hoping to find Fitz somewhere else and not in such a decaying state. What were they going to tell Jemma?

Fitz didn’t look fine at all, Coulson noticed his eyes above everything else, the light that once sparked in them was gone, replaced with sadness and anger, not a good combination. May realized the ghostly signs of alcohol and drugs written all over his clothes and his features. She got a small glimpse inside of the apartment and it looked like trash.

“Do you think we should go back?” Coulson said while he drives to go back to Jemma’s apartment, he waited for an answer, he peered at his side, May seemed focused on something else, he wasn’t going to interrupt her so he just went back to focus on the road.

Finally, they arrived; Coulson parked the car at one side of the road and went into the building with May at his side. He prepared to break the news to Jemma, how would she react? Would she be angry that they didn’t go back and try to talk to Fitz one more time? Would she be disappointed? He wanted to bring her back some good news and now he had to inform her that Fitz was probably lost forever.

He knocked the door and after a few seconds Jemma opened the door.  “Hi… come in, come in.” Coulson saw hopefulness in her and felt sorry for a few seconds, but he had to keep it together, for Jemma.

They all sat down in the sofa, Jemma rubbed her hands together, anxious to hear some news about Fitz, she wanted to know he was okay, that he was holding on and soon will be home.

“Is he okay?” Jemma couldn’t wait much longer, the question left her mouth in a rush, looking at Coulson and then May, looking for any signs.

"He's not okay, Jemma." May finally pointed out, Coulson didn't have the courage to tell her, he thought he had failed them. It was his fault, he should've done something, he should have helped them. "He didn't let us come in, but he didn't look good." 

May stared at Jemma, waiting for a response, analyzing her, she didn't want to tell her that, she wanted to tell her better news, but she also couldn't lie. Jemma was silent, taking in the news, trying to understand. Why? Wasn't he supposed to get better? He wrote it down, he promised, why was he worse? 

"Do... do you know what...why?" Jemma finally asked in a low voice. 

"We believe he may be drinking way too much and please don't freak out but he may also be doing some kind of drug." Coulson stated at last, trying to sound as calm as possible. 

"What?! Are you sure?" Of course she freaked out, if Fitz was really doing drugs, then it was something serious, and he'd need help, especially hers. "I need to go see him, I need make sure he's okay." Jemma got up from the sofa and started pacing in the living room, she was clearly worried but then her expression changed. She felt a flash of irritation why was he doing that to himself? Didn't Fitz realize it hurt her too? 

Jemma knew now that she did the best she could, she let him go to find himself, she didn't want to look for him, he deserved independence. 

After a few minutes of discussing whether Jemma should visit Fitz or not, they finally decided it was for the best that she goes to him and it may help him recover and get some common sense. Coulson drove them back to Fitz's apartment, when they arrived, he and May stayed in the car, he told Jemma where to go and then let her walk towards the building. 

Was it a good idea? Maybe. She didn't want to disappoint herself but she wanted to see him, help him because he clearly needed it, he didn't have to do it alone. She stood outside of the door; she sighed and then knocked three times, she couldn't hear a thing, was he sleeping? 

"Fitz... are you there?" She murmured after a few minutes. She waited, but no one answered, maybe he wasn't there. So she sat down outside of the apartment, she could wait for a while, May and Coulson would understand why she was taking so long. 

Half an hour later, she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Fitz was coming back from the market, he carried a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag with bread and some other food in the other, he looked at her, why was she there? How did she...? She looked breathtaking as always and he dressed like a homeless man with ragged and dirty clothes, crap, Fitz didn't want her to see him like this, like a broken man. 

She stood up as soon as she saw him. He looked different, but bad different. His beautiful blue eyes weren't sparking anymore, his skin paler than usual, dark circles under his eyes, he drew in a long breath as she inspected his looks. He wasn't aware of much he needed her until now, now he wanted to held her close. But how could he do that after this? After betraying her trust after making her believe he left to get better and then do the opposite. 

"Please leave." Fitz said after a few seconds, in reality he wanted her to stay but not like that. "Please." He avoided looking at her face, he was sure her expression would make him go back in a heartbeat.  Fitz didn't want her to know that his health was getting worse; he got tired easily, he felt like he was losing air, his body felt numb sometimes, his eyes burned, among other things. Fitz knew it was the unhealthy amount of drugs and alcohol he consumed over the days, his body was not used to it in such a short amount of time, and on top of everything, the doctor got worse, now he was also seeing him, it was completely random, but Fitz was sure he would hurt someone without realizing it one day.

He walked towards the apartment, ignoring Jemma completely, with a quick movement he went inside and closed the door. Jemma stood outside, shaken and confused, she tried to understand, her eyes filled with tears, how could he do this to her? Why didn't Fitz let her help? 

"Fitz! Fitz, please open up!" She cried out, if he kept going he would end up dead, and that she couldn't take, they were in this together, they can be better together. 

In the other side of the door, Fitz was trying to debate whether to open the door and let her in or ignore her and wait until she got tired. His breaths quickened, it was all too much, he made a lot of mistakes, now he was paying for them, he was so sure he deserved every bad thing, even death. Death was better than live in suffering. 

His hands started to tremble, he tried to stop it, he shut his eyes close, everything seem oddly wrong and out of place. He wasn't a doctor, but he knew something was wrong. Maybe letting Jemma wasn't a bad idea. Fitz walked towards the door and opened it, Jemma was still outside, her eyes were a slight red, he had hurt her, as he always did.

"I'm sorry." Fitz mumbled.

As soon as she saw him, panic flooded through her. His pupils were huge, he was sweating and his hands trembled, he seemed on the verge of collapsing. "Fitz, please, are you okay? What did you do?" She made her way into the apartment, Fitz closed the door and leaned to the wall. "Talk to me, please." She begged.

"I'm so sorry." Now he felt naive, all the nasty choices, all the mistakes he made trying to forget thinking it was the appropriate choice, wrong friends and wrong place. He gave a half-smile, he kind of suspected what was happening, he didn't want to acknowledge it. "I'm sorry I left, I... shouldn't have." He whispered softly, he felt weak again, the room was spinning, and the nausea took over him.

 ** _“Are you surprised? You can’t handle anything. Weak, always weak. You should be embarrassed of yourself.”_** The voice again, the doctor making another arrival, instead of Jemma ahead of him, the doctor stands. Walking towards him slowly like a predator, in the last moments of rational thinking, he strikes back.

 ** _“You know I’m not leaving, you and I are the same.”_** Again, the doctor sure of his words.

“Fitz? Talk to me.” Jemma moved closer, or was it the doctor? He couldn’t tell the difference.

“Go away!” He yelled, clutching his head between his palms, urging himself to stop.

 ** _“Told you, I’m not going anywhere, but Jemma should, I mean… who would want you?”_** Who would choose him? A broken shell of the man who he once was.

Jemma was now certain he was suffering some kind of attack, Fitz was trembling and his mind seemed somewhere else, if it was true what Coulson said about drugs and alcohol, then he might be having an overdose.

“Are you seeing… him?” She asked, trying to be sure about her theory.

“Go away, please go away. He’s going to hurt you… leave me, please.” He sounded weak, oh so little, she wanted to help him, scoop him in her arms and never let go.

 ** _“See? She’s pitying you. No one wants you, accept your fate, you and I are the same.”_** The same. They were the same, they were one, would it be better if he just accept it? Would he get relief?

He lost some balance and let go of the wall, causing him to fall on the ground, sweat covered his forehead, his eyes dazzling, Jemma leaned over him touching his cheeks and trying to keep calm.

She decided to look for some bottle or any trace of what kind of drug he took while he was gone, she saw a few pills scattered on the floor and took them. She went where Fitz was lying, he looked worse, so an ambulance was the evident choice.

Fitz grabbed her arm, his breathing fast and erratic, he didn’t want to lose her; he didn’t want to go like this. He was not like the doctor; he had a heart and actual emotions, at least that’s what he tried to believe, he wasn’t going to die like this. His desire to protect and be with Jemma again was bigger than his desire to die, but it was too late. He heard Jemma’s voice far away; she was calling for an ambulance, a good choice, better than any of the ones he ever made. 

The doctor was standing above him, Jemma was kneeling beside him, so he looked at her, trying to focus his vision on her. Her wonderful eyes... her sweet and pink lips, her glorious hair, she was a beauty... he didn't deserve her. She was always there for him. "I love you..." he stammered, closing his eyes as his head lulled back. 

"Fitz? Fitz?! No... open your eyes, please, open your eyes!" She begged in an attempt to keep him awake, he had to hold on. He opened his eyes again, was he in heaven? 

An angel knelt beside him, a majestic figure welcome him to the afterlife, if dying were indeed like this then it wasn't so bad. An angel leading him towards the end. He felt everything around him, welcoming him to a new and fresh side of life. But that voice, the angel's voice, still calling from far away. "Please, stay... you're going to be okay, Fitz. Please don't do this... I love you." 

"I love you too." He silently whispered, letting the angel guide him once again.  


	6. Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz awakes in a hospital bed and conversations about what happened are in order. Jemma wants to help and now Fitz realizes he doesn't need to be alone to get better. What are they going to do from now on? Scotland is actually a great option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL HELLLO, I know I said I was going to write more but hey, my brain couldn't think of anything until now and YES, this is the final chapter of this fic. Thank for reading until the end if you did and this has been fun. I'm thinking of doing an epilogue later on but let me know your thoughts on that. As always i have no beta reader so I'll be grateful if you leave some feedback, English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there are mistakes around here. I try my beat to avoid them. Again, thanks for staying with me on this wild ride and here's to s6!

> “You are enough.”  
>  These little words, somehow they’re changing us.  
>  “You are enough.”  
>  So we let our shadows fall away like dust.
> 
> - **You are enough by Sleeping At Last.**

  
To be honest, he kind of expected to be dead by now, he wasn’t even sure how he ended up in a hospital bed; he recognized the smell and the general dullness that characterized these rooms. He was disoriented, but lucid enough to tell that somehow he lived through hell and came out safe.  
  
Slowly, Fitz opened his eyes again; he let them wander around the room until his sight fell on a sleeping Jemma on a couch in front of him; he let out a small breath, why was she there with him? A sudden feeling of happiness surprised him because after everything he had done, she was still with him. He tried to remember everything about what had happened hours ago, the pain, the pressure, the dizziness, the hallucinations, the lost of his will to keep going and the sudden leap of hope Jemma brought with her and rippled in him.  
  
For once, he was happy he made it out alive, he knew he needed Jemma, but now having her in front of him was a whole new level. He was foolish to think he could’ve made it on his own, Jemma was his anchor, it was good for him, he saw in her something wonderful, but he also knew she needed help too, especially after this. They needed each other for good.  
  
A nurse checked on him and Fitz went back to sleep after that, he didn’t want to wake Jemma up knowing she was tired, and he needed to rest too. Hours passed until he felt her warm presence besides him, he opened his eyes and saw her looming over him, when she realized he had woken up her mood lifted, Fitz had worried her the whole time after the ambulance arrived at Fitz’s place. She was afraid that he wouldn’t make it, so she was glad to see him awake and conscious.  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She whispered in a low voice, Fitz let out a small laugh.  
  
“I don’t mind, Jemma.” He answered, he wasn’t certain about how much time had passed since the incident but he felt a lot better. Silence was unbearable for both, neither of them knew what to do, they exchanged awkward glances. Fitz thought about apologizing to her and Jemma wanted to make sure everything was all right.  
  
“I didn’t mean to scare you, I apologize, Jemma. I do, because you shouldn’t have gone through that… I didn’t want to put you in that position, and I know you were worried, and I was an idiot for what I did, but I’m so sorry.” Fitz said, his words rushed and his tone almost vulnerable, he was ashamed now, he could simply reflect on his prior decisions and regret every single one. He could’ve done so much better but he let his emotions overwhelm him and get the best of him. He didn’t handle things well and now he was paying for his mistakes.  
  
Tears filled her eyes as she listened to him, she was about to say something when his voice filled the room, Jemma knew he was being sincere, she wasn’t mad with him, not anymore, the fear of losing him overcame any anger she had towards Fitz at the start. Now she wanted to help.  
  
“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize, Fitz. I understand…” she started with a low voice; his eyes were also glossy, like he was fighting back his tears. “I read your letter and Fitz… you don’t need to do this alone, okay? You don’t, you have me, you have the team ready to help, you have your mom, all of us are here for you.” Her conviction deeper than ever, Jemma wanted to make him realize he wasn’t alone anymore.  
  
“But what if I hurt you? Jemma, I didn’t want to hurt you. You need to heal too, you can’t do that with me taking every bit of you.”  
  
“Then we do it together, we support each other and we go through this as we always do, together. You and me, against everything else, I want you to get that.” She answered, she bit her lip waiting for a reaction, Fitz seemed to be taking her words well, and that was a good start.  
  
“I know you think you don’t deserve me, you believe I deserve something better, but I choose you, you Fitz, no one else. Even if you say you’re broken, we have gone through worse, and yes we had our setbacks but we made it, we can do this too. Trust me, together there’s nothing we can’t do.” Jemma declared a fresh sign of hope for both.  
  
His lower lip quivered, he couldn’t understand how much faith she had in them, at some point he gave up. He saw nothing else but failure in him, and somehow she made him feel like a brand new man. He had to get better, even if he thought being alone was he solution he realized that sometimes… sometimes all you need is a hand to hold. Someone who's there for you, someone who listens. Jemma was that person, and he could also be that for her. Maybe...maybe they could start over and be the best version of themselves.  
  
“Together.” Fitz whispered as his eyes filled with tears, he sat down trying to calm down, Jemma got close and brought him close, craddling Fitz to her chest in a tight hug and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She started crying as well, letting go all the emotions that were suffocating her, but it was honestly kind of a relief. It was going to be a slow process, but she knew they would make it in the end.  
  
After two days Fitz was discharged and could finally go home, this time he went back to the apartment he shared with Jemma, going back felt weird but at the same time comforting.  
  
Jemma made two cups of tea while he sat down on the couch, after a few minutes she was back in the living room, handed one of the cups to him and sat next to him. They hadn’t talk much about what they were going to do now, but she had something in her mind.  
  
“Fitz…we said we wanted to start over, right?” She started as he took a sip of his cup, he nodded and waited to see what she was going to say. “What if we leave? What if we move to Perthshire?” she finally proposed, Fitz looked surprised for a second, but he didn’t have to think about it much.  
  
“I think it’s a great idea. So, I think we should do it, this is a nice apartment, but Scotland is even better.” He answered, hopeful and eager to leave the past behind.  
  
“We can have our therapist there, it doesn’t matter if we don’t live in a cottage, as long as we can get away, have a fresh start, I think it’ll be okay.” Jemma added with a small smile, hoping things would actually get better for them.  
  
~~~  
  
A week later they were ready to leave, Coulson made sure they got a cottage, Fitz's mom was excited to see his son and Jemma again, the team was sad to see them leave but knew it was for the best. They said their goodbyes and May flew them to Scotland shortly after.  
  
Cozy and warm were the words Jemma thought about after going inside the cottage. Fitz was behind her, he looked around and his expression changed into one of pure awe and wonder.  
  
"It's even better than what I was expecting." He said, wandering for a few moments.  
  
"I can't believe we actually have our cottage, Fitz. It's perfect." Jemma whispered mentally thanking Coulson.  
  
"I think it's missing a bit of...us, but after we add our touch, it's truly going to be the perfect home." Fitz responded with a small smile on his face.  
  
He looked better than the day Jemma had found him, he regained a little color on his face but he still had bad under his eyes, and the effects that the drugs and the alcohol caused on him were still obvious.  
  
They had barely touched since the incident, they hadn't even kissed, Jemma was trying to give him some space to think and make up his mind, to accept this new stage in their lives. Therapy was going to be their main goal to actually get somewhere, so she hoped that could help him.  
  
"So...are you ready for our new beginning?" Jemma asked in a low and comforting voice. She tried to make an attempt to hold his hand and was a little surprised when instead of backing away he accepted the intimate gesture.  
  
"As long as it is with you...I'm more than ready." He answered, her eyes sparkled at his answer and her heart leaped with joy.  
  
Fitz still had doubts in his mind, but those were things he had to work through, if he wanted to be happy at some point he was going to have to deal with his issues im the right way.  
  
"Jemma?" He called.  
  
"Yes, Fitz?" She looked at him with curiosity.  
  
"Thank you...for believing in me." he scratched his beard and then talked again. "I love you, Jemma, so much. I shouldn't have left but I'm glad we can do this together now. Thank you."  
  
"I love you too, Fitz. And I'm always going to believe in you, even when you don't." She admitted and let her head rest on his shoulder. He looked at her and just like the time they were looking at a picture of the space in Fitz's room and kissed in the middle of all the chaos, finding peace in the other, Fitz looked down and Jemma looked up, their eyes meeting, finally Fitz pulled himself together and let his lips join hers. How could he have deprived himself of that contact for so long?  
  
It was possible to get a happy ending after all. They had been Fitzsimmons since the academy, there was not reason why that had to end. They were **stronger** together and Jemma knew it and she was going to make sure Fitz remembered it too because in the midst of chaos, pain and destruction, they could always rely on each other. **_Always_**.   
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
